12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #7

20161223_131548As I take stock as the year closes and assess where we are as a family, I feel acutely aware and quite sad about one very particular thing. I can see both our children have made big strides this year in terms of learning new skills – from “school stuff” like vocabulary, reading, writing and (possibly!) arithmetic to their chosen creative and sporting pursuits. But emotionally I feel, for our son, his reality has evolved very little.

I have to wonder whether – despite feeling overtrained, being professionally supported and having a small library of (albeit partly read) books – we are missing a trick in terms of how we are approaching this adoptive parenting thing – emotional wellbeing is paramount, but skills development in our case seems so much easier to achieve. And in the turbulence of our daily life, achieving some progress feels essential for our own sanity. Perhaps we are not allowing enough emotional space, but with space tends to come volatility, so we keep our time as filled and structured as possible. There lies the circle? Some food for thought in our home over the holidays…

Hence… If we could put one thing under the Christmas tree, it would be a superpower that enables us to access our son’s subconscious – so that we can pinpoint the emotional drivers of his behaviour and perhaps palpably help him to heal and move forward.

Advertisements

One thought on “12 Blogs under the Christmas tree #7

  1. I could have written this myself. My 6 year old daughter is now beyond most her peers with academic work but is way behind her 4 year old brothers emotional capability. All the emotion and trauma work we have done with him is working and he is reaping rewards but my daughter is still a closed book who opens a fraction occasionally. Can’t help but think ‘is it us?’ Is it a personality clash? Will she begin to get it in time for her (and us!) to enjoy her childhood? Keep plodding. A superpower is our hope for the new year too!

It's your turn. What do you think? Does this resonate with you? Leave a comment and tell us why.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s