My parents were pretty dysfunctional as I remember and I had a chaotic life. But my wife says I married ‘up’ and with a whole load of therapy, many geographicals and a hefty swig of courage I got over my past and stepped into the shoes of the person I am today.
My parents didn’t come to our wedding, they didn’t even want an invite being sent to the house and believe our son will turn against us later in life. They think it’s unfair of us to adopt a child, hiding behind religion and think we can not adequately parent a family of our own, in our same sex household. Suffice to say we don’t have my parents in our lives and they have never met our son.
But even still, I love them. I have been trying to reconcile these feelings so I can sit with them comfortably. I guess I am in training for when our boy faces his life story and confronts his feelings for his birth mother. I can tell him first hand it’s possible to love your birth parents but there is room to love also the people who make up your family, even if you not connected by blood. The 2 closest people in my life are my wife and son. We have no blood tie but we are connected by an invisible thread that helps us have these super human powers. Like, mind reading, eyes in back of your head and of course being able to read in the dark the same story night after night with zeal. Our boy catches our hearts with a simple smile or gesture. Today he stole my heart, by simply wrapping his fingers around my arm and kissing my hand ( I had knocked it on the table and said ‘ouch’ that sensitivity was his awesome reply.
My son makes me a better human being. He centres me. Through our painting and colouring sessions I can engage in the raw material of life, be it with stick people and lopsided cats and snowmen depictions. I feel the world is a better place, my son is part of the next generation and we are proud as punch of him. To open your heart, to be vulnerable is a courageous thing and completely worth its weight in gold. My parents can’t accept me for who I love today but I know my wife and son will love me tomorrow and forever.