He’s ours

You can’t have him.

Today we had our first court date and you contested.

You can’t have him back.

He lives with us now and we wake him up in the morning and give him breakfast. Do you know that he doesn’t like toast and will only eat porridge with honey on top, not mixed in?

Do you know that he likes to suck the toothpaste off his toothbrush so be careful not to put too much on?

Do you know that he only took a day and a half to be potty trained?

Do you know that he knows his left from his right?

Do you know that he loves the Tube and always waves to the Tube driver?

Do you know that when mummy carries the buggy and him upstairs at the Tube station at the same time, I have to roar like a tiger? I’m a ‘tiger mummy!’

Do you know that every night he has a shower, he takes great delight in letting the water run over his body so he can do a ‘finger wee.’

Do you know that when he sees a monster, best thing to do is say “1,2,3 RAAAAR!!”

Do you know that he sprinkles anti monster powder around his bed at night?

Do you know his shoe size?

Do you know that he will try any food once when we are cooking together but not when it’s on his plate?

Do you know that when we sit together on the sofa, we make a sandwich with our hands and he grins with such pleasure?

Do you know that he loves wearing his dungarees because he looks like a farmer?

Do you know that whenever anyone knocks on the door, he looks up and says ‘Oooh! Who’s dat?’ and dashes downstairs to open the door?

Do you know that he’s scared of the hoover and hand-dyers and we call them the ‘noisy’?

Do you know that he cuddles both of us and pulls us to the mirror so he can look at all three of us? Do you know when we are all in the same room he will pipe up ‘All of us together.’?

Do you know that he loves books and is already trying to read?

Do you know he snuggles with us in the morning?

Do you know that he will negotiate like Bob Crow to get his own way?

Do you know that he is the best thing to ever happen to us?

We have built this family through paperwork, tears and umpteen meetings with social workers. We have made a home where he is the centre of our world. Where he comes first. Where he can see adults laughing and joking, relaxed with each other. Where he has toys, stimulation and love.

He is where he is tickled, talked to, read to and listened to.

You will always be his birth mother but we are his parents. He is now part of our family and you can’t have him back.


4 thoughts on “He’s ours

  1. I don’t know who you are, but you could be my daughter-in-law and your post moved me to tears. Bravo for people/parents /families like you!

  2. You are so right. He is your son, he is a member of your family. You are so lucky to have him at the centre of your life. I hope that BM’s contesting of the order is not going to do any harm to your family. I know a lot of BPs contest almost in a way to prove that they did fight, even when they have no hope, chance of winning nor capability of meeting the needs of their child or children.

  3. What you wrote resonated so much with us and the story of our little man. Congratulations on the court order being granted. As Underbrella said, with us I think that the reaction to contest was a last ditch attempt to show that they tried rather than any real expectation.

    That bit of paper means so much. Wait til the first official letter pops through the door with his Christian and his new surname on it… For us it was an appointment at the doctors and we felt all the joy of him being ours welling up again. An amazing feeling. Ours… Legally… Irrevocably!

    Congratulations and well done!

  4. I loved all the tiny and wonderful little things that you know about your child, all the things that make him being with you feel right for all of you. I agree that with what is said above, that I think some BM need to show that they do fight for their child and that is understandable. I hope too that it causes no upset to your adoption journey because it really sounds like your son is very settled and happy with you.

    Thank you for Sharing on #WASO

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