You can’t have him.
Today we had our first court date and you contested.
You can’t have him back.
He lives with us now and we wake him up in the morning and give him breakfast. Do you know that he doesn’t like toast and will only eat porridge with honey on top, not mixed in?
Do you know that he likes to suck the toothpaste off his toothbrush so be careful not to put too much on?
Do you know that he only took a day and a half to be potty trained?
Do you know that he knows his left from his right?
Do you know that he loves the Tube and always waves to the Tube driver?
Do you know that when mummy carries the buggy and him upstairs at the Tube station at the same time, I have to roar like a tiger? I’m a ‘tiger mummy!’
Do you know that every night he has a shower, he takes great delight in letting the water run over his body so he can do a ‘finger wee.’
Do you know that when he sees a monster, best thing to do is say “1,2,3 RAAAAR!!”
Do you know that he sprinkles anti monster powder around his bed at night?
Do you know his shoe size?
Do you know that he will try any food once when we are cooking together but not when it’s on his plate?
Do you know that when we sit together on the sofa, we make a sandwich with our hands and he grins with such pleasure?
Do you know that he loves wearing his dungarees because he looks like a farmer?
Do you know that whenever anyone knocks on the door, he looks up and says ‘Oooh! Who’s dat?’ and dashes downstairs to open the door?
Do you know that he’s scared of the hoover and hand-dyers and we call them the ‘noisy’?
Do you know that he cuddles both of us and pulls us to the mirror so he can look at all three of us? Do you know when we are all in the same room he will pipe up ‘All of us together.’?
Do you know that he loves books and is already trying to read?
Do you know he snuggles with us in the morning?
Do you know that he will negotiate like Bob Crow to get his own way?
Do you know that he is the best thing to ever happen to us?
We have built this family through paperwork, tears and umpteen meetings with social workers. We have made a home where he is the centre of our world. Where he comes first. Where he can see adults laughing and joking, relaxed with each other. Where he has toys, stimulation and love.
He is where he is tickled, talked to, read to and listened to.
You will always be his birth mother but we are his parents. He is now part of our family and you can’t have him back.