Going from 2 to 3

I feel like I could write forever about the beginning of our adoption journey but somehow to do justice to our son, I feel I should focus purely on his entrance to our lives.
Barleys picture came via an unexpected email from our social worker one Friday afternoon. We were at work and could hardly keeps the adulation out of voices as we tried to maintain a calm disposition until 5:30. We printed it out and anxiously arranged a meeting with the social worker to find out more. We spent the weekend “what iffing this and that” and gazed lovingly at our little boy – I feel we fell in love before we met him in the flesh. Something curious happened to us as a couple after that photograph became our beacon of hope. We were going to be actual living parents and be responsible for another human being. We kept pinching ourselves and stole knowing looks at each other, as it was to be kept under wraps until things were finalised.
We had the initial meeting, met the fosters carer, saw lots more photographs and asked a zillion questions. We had a month to get our flat ready for Barleys little 9 month arrival. I felt as sure as I could that we were going to love him with every inch of our being. Going to the matching panel for a baby we had never met still seems bizarre now. I got asked a crazy question from the panel ” why do you want to adopt Barley?” I could only reply through my tears with a garbled ” have you seen his photo” Getting ready to meet him required trips to the hairdressers and new shirts, to pass the time before we got to meet him. We were so nervous driving to the foster carer. We were parked outside way before the social workers arrived. We didn’t want to be late, didn’t want to miss a second of that special day.
We were ushered into the house and Barley was playing with his toys behind the sofa. He smiled and allowed me to hold his hand – I was smitten. We took turns feeding him and then our first visit was over. We called our family and friends and went through the induction process without a hitch. It was the jubilee week after induction, I felt as if we had a royal welcome for him into our lives. The foster carer and her family were truly amazing and gave Barley a great start to his journey to us. We couldn’t wait to have him home and start our life where we went from 2 to 3.
A year and a half later, Barley is half my height, hitting all his milestones and has a wide circle of friends. He knows what he truly likes and what he doesn’t. He is passionate about transport as a lot of little boys are. I drive past many building sites on rainy afternoons, just so he can point out the cranes and diggers.
Our lives as a couple has done a 360 turn. We have forged a special bond which makes us a team. We know a lie in to be grateful for is now 7am and our love for our little boy grows deeper each day. We wished for Barley and our wish did indeed come true.


7 thoughts on “Going from 2 to 3

  1. What a lovely post. It brought back so many feelings and memories. I can honestly say that we shared every single one of the emotions you describe when we first heard about our little one. I particularly remember the weekend of walking around in a daze when we first heard. As with you, two years on, our love for our little fella continues to grow and grow. The only way I could describe it to a friend was – I simply couldn’t love my little boy any more than I do right this minute but still every day I love him more and more and more and I will love him even more tomorrow.


  2. Wow – the excitement of those early days is palpable in your writing. I too remember fondly the thrill of realising our dream of parenthood; I am still in awe of this reality – going from 2 to 3… becoming a family. A hard fought dream come true! thank you for sharing

  3. Such a lovely post and so nice to see a positive one – I know exactly how you feel and as we move into our 16 month post introductions together as a family we honestly couldn’t be happier too x

    • Thank you. You change lives. I didn’t write the post – another mum in the group did. But i can honestly say that the thing that has surprised me the most on this journey – and we are happy as larry too- is how strongly I would feel for the foster mum. This part is I think underplayed in adoption preparation.
      So thank you! From all of us.

  4. You’ve brought it all flooding back. We still have the scrap of paper with the names and ages of our children on that our social worker handed to us. The feeling of instant love and being aware that my life, our life, would never be the same again.
    Great post.

  5. This is a reply from Barley’s mum to you who have commented on her post:

    We are happy to share Barley’s story with you all. As you make up part of our journey even if we have not yet met, we are interconnected through this adoption process.
    The foster carer was certainly a shining star for us. She bridged the distance in Barley’s history prior to his arrival to our family with candour and sensitivity. We feel this is an important relationship which we foster with care. We feel that in time Barley will be able to hear first hand about his ‘tummy mummy’ which we only have a snapshot of compared to months of regular contact meetings which she went to.
    So thank you from us to you for making the path to our son the way it was.

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